**Just a heads up, this is a long, very personal story of why I am blogging. **
Have you ever felt that you would really like to do something but can’t? Either you don’t have the inspiration, the tools or someone’s discouraging you. Have you ever felt that you would like to write something but you just ignore it or you are just procrastinating?
Those times that you are just talking to yourself, ideas coming in, and thoughts pouring, it’s overwhelming! You promised to write everything but when you find the time and you’re ready to write everything, you don’t know where to start.
All of those thoughts that you so carefully organized in your mind are gone! Nothing comes out of your mind. It’s frustrating! It happens all the time until you just gave up. Forget everything about writing and just moved on.
Years passed by and the passion is still there but it keeps on happening. Don’t you wish there’s a machine, a device or a simple cap that you can just wear on your head and records everything on your mind?
I did! A lot of times.
Every time a series of thoughts comes in, I explore my mind finding a space where to store it. Somewhere it won’t be gone at the time I need it. I am one forgetful person! When I get old, I’m not going to be surprised if I will be diagnosed with Dementia or Alzheimer’s because I feel like I have one whenever I forget something. So one of the reasons why I blog is to keep these thoughts, ideas, and memories in one place.
Secondly, writing has been a comfort ever since. I remember when I was a child, I would write on paper whenever my mother doesn’t bring me to the market with my sister or whenever my crush snubbed me. Emotions that I cannot tell anyone as I am afraid to be laughed at.
There are a couple of times that they saw what I wrote and I was so embarrassed that I stopped writing. I would write poems but I cannot show them to anyone, not that I don’t want them to see, I am just scared to be criticized for my writing. During high school, I have this pile of yellow pad papers with articles or Tagalog pocketbook-like stories that I wrote but that’s for my eyes only, or a very few people from high school who knew about it, maybe 2-4 and that’s it. But that’s not enough to believe in me. I just keep all things to myself.
College came, still the same. I’m still writing poems and stories, some I wrote when I am traveling going home. Pen and paper are a must in my bag. When I started working, planners became my diary. I have a whole lot of notebooks pero hindi ko napupuno yun. Until I stopped writing again.
I don’t know what happened, things moved up so fast. I was deemed redundant by the company I was working for, traveled to the country where my sister’s family is, went back to PH, got married, bore a child and then became a work-at-home mom. Not full time as I have a very clingy child. As we moved to the province, communication with friends became rare. Our house, my husband on weekends and my baby are where my life surrounds.
Social media became my companion. Facebook, Instagram, Netflix, Blogs, Vlogs. Until one day, a high school classmate blurted out in our group chat about me writing during high school. She remembered about the stories that I wrote in those yellow pad papers, I don’t even know where they are now.
And that gave me a different feeling. I can’t pinpoint what it is.
One day, I was reading a blog and I remembered that I have been blogging before but I don’t show it to others as I am not comfortable sharing it. I have been making several accounts in Blogger, Tumblr, WordPress but I am not really serious about it.
And it came back, suddenly, my heart raced. I want to do it again, and this time, I am serious! Went to WordPress and started making a new one. I racked my mind, what should I write about? What type of blogger would I be? Travel blogger? No, I seldom go out. Food blogger, review restaurants, share recipes? No, that would require me to go out as well and shell a lot of money. Sports blogger? Duh, why that does even came to mind, I don’t know any rules about sports. News, blog about celebrities? Ugh, that would require me to go out to be able to get scoops on recent news. So, what would I be???
As I am typing loudly on my keyboard, my son woke up and asked for milk. So I got up and prepared one for him. When I gave him his bottle, it hit me! Why don’t I be a mommy blogger? If I can’t write anything about my baby, my family, being a mother, or anything valuable then write about anything! Be a mommy or a lifestyle blogger. Heck, does it really matter? Just write anything you want. Remember, you are writing for you, not because someone dictates you to. This time, you are in charge. That’s the thing about me, I don’t believe in myself. And I am thinking of what other people will say before I do anything that I would really like. But, I am decided. Let’s make it public!
As I went back to the reasons why I can’t be a certain type of blogger, there’s just one hindrance that keeps popping up, I can’t always go out because of my son, and so HOMEBOUND MOM came to life. Thank you, Lord! 🙂 🙂 🙂
This time, I got a paid domain and hosting so I don’t get to procrastinate and just write whenever I want to. I joined Facebook groups for writers, bloggers, support groups, etc. I picked several Poems from the blogs I created before and compiled it to the new one. The mental block came; I don’t know what to write first, I am still struggling; it seems that I forgot how to write. For now, I’ll just write whatever comes to mind that I’m comfortable to share. At least I have set it up. If no one reads what I write, then so be it. At least, I am writing again. It might be late but I now know what I want. This may not be a career but this is what I have been missing all my life.
And that’s the story of why I am blogging. As I am new to writing in public, I’ll try my best to learn more about blogging. Refine my writing skills and gain more experience/knowledge so I can share topics that would be beneficial to my readers (if there’s any).
Are you still reading this? Really? Oh wow! Thank you!!!!
Have something to tell me? Any input or suggestions on what to put in here? Any negative things to say?
How about you? What made you decide to be a blogger? I am excited to know your story. Just comment down below. Thanks for reading! 🙂